~~~~~~~~~~~~What Golf Reveals About A Person~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well? Golf is like a 'Psychic Can Opener'.........it reveals most 'everything'......about a person's 'character'......when you 'play it'..........might as well 'takes your clothes off'.....ya'know :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Ben Hogan~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   I took a caddie when I played Cyprus Point Club and his name is Marty Larkin. He's in his early eighties now, but he was 79 when he caddied for me~~~and the way that I played that day they could have locked me up for elder abuse. But as in life every round of golf has it's ups and downs~~~at some point in our rambling conversation I said to Marty: "I've seen Nicklaus and Seve and all the greats play, even Snead, but the one that I wish I'd seen was Hogan." Marty gave me a look and his eyes seemed to twinkle: "I got a story for you..." Well he told me of a Crosby back when he was a kid~~~and it was raining all day at Cyprus~~~so they needed to hire someone to hold the umbrella for Hogan~~~and that was young Marty Larkin. Ben Hogan~~~'the wee icemon' is what the British Press labeled him~~~inscrutable~~~aloof~~~concentrated~~~seeming in his own world~~~and he did not suffer fools gladly~~~for there was no bullshit to Hogan. Well Marty told me: "You know he didn't talk to anybody all day. Not a word. But he talked to me.".

~~~~~~~~~~~~Caddies Take Exams Too~~~~~~~~~~~

   I'll bet~~~that if someone commissioned A Select Group of Smart Boys from say~~~Sloan, Wharton, Harvard, and Stanford~~~or you can pick 'em~~~any old assortment of High Class MBA Factories will do~~~to do a Case Analysis of The Caddie Profession~~~they would be hard pressed to come up with a Reflective Quantitative Business Model if they didn't give full consideration to The Business Model of The World's Oldest Profession :) Yes! Whores! And not just whores~~~for what do whores need when applying their Business Model on the streets? I mean beside~~~Johns? Pimps. They need protection~~~be it from other Pimps~~~or~~~the mean streets. The Users and The Used~~~walking hand in hand~~~it's just the dance of life that you see in any old marketplace~~~when all living things are seen only conditionally and value is brought down into abstraction~~~to put it simply~~~the users and the used only mingle when all around them is seen as dead~~~just a bunch of commodities~~~bought, sold, and accumulated~~~'cause you ain't gonna find nuthin'~~~Alive and Living~~~in any marketplace. That's just the way marketplaces are~~~be it~~supermarket, street corner, or church.
   These Days~~~in this technocratic world~~~a micro-managed maze of subsidiaries and corporate entities~~~a marketplace that moves at the speed of light and encompasses the entire planet~~~The Worldwide Marketplace~~~all strung out on methamphetamine & steroids~~~the old time profession of being a golf caddie has been tossed into this fast-moving post-modern complex web of organizational structures~~~as~~~Most High End Country Clubs and Destination Resorts~~~that have caddies~~~use Front End Management Companies to control them and deal with All The Problems caddies seem to cause. Front Door Caddie Management Corporations keep problems at arm's length from their Host. It's what they do. It's their mission~~~it's their job~~and best describes their nature~~~parasitic. They attach themselves to their host~~~and hang on dearly~~~for a ride~~~preening their host and doing their dirty work~~~keeping their hosts~~~free~~~of legal liability~~~be it~~~health issues, mental issues, criminal behavior, or~~~all the cash flying around the place.
  As you know~~~pimps are supposed to offer some level of protection for their working girls~~~but~~~do Caddie Management Companies offer any protection for their caddies? How can these Front Door Companies be modeled after this  blatantly parasitic behavior? Caddie Management Companies are first and foremost devoted to their Host. So? Maybe Pimps care more for their Whores than Management Corporations care for their caddies? Can that really be true? Well? If it is~~~pimps have more morality than~~~the aforesaid companies.
   How do you think The Smart Boys would model the behavior of Caddie Management Companies? Would they see caddies as independent contractors bound by contracts and all the necessary legality offered up by them? Nope. Don't think so. I think that they would quantitatively analyze these business behaviors based on the premise that~~~any~~~Parasitic Corporate Entity just does it's Host's Bidding~~~and~~~that it's independence and reality are in fact~~~only fiction. These management companies independent reality is just as thin as that stretched out rubber glove pictured above. So thin~~~it's hardly there. (damn i sound like a condom advertisement) Well? Imagine if the Resort/Country Club/Host is a Proctologist~~~and~~~The Caddie Management Company~~~is~~~The Glove. Thin~~~so thin~~~so little separation from their host that all of these front door caddie management corporations~~~are really just~~~non existent. Just Rubbers (and that was the picture i should have put up above)~~~or rubber gloves~~~if you will. But~~~for now~~~these caddie managers do exist~~~and~~~the glove is on tight. So you see~~~these days caddies take exams~~~too! But be sure to tell the smart boys~~~when they build their model for the caddie profession~~~whatever it is that they come up with~~~that after they crunch the numbers~~~they should~~~wash their hands!
 So here is my business model for these entities~~~the resorts are~~~the pimps~~~the caddies are~~~the whores~~~and the management companies are~~~just used rubbers. Makes sense to me~~~for I'm a resort caddie~~~and also have an MBA :) So come on Harvard Business Review~~~how would you model it? 
 

Are We All Just Watching Each Other Jerk Off?

Ah~~~the American golfer had been in Scotland for a week, played every day, and taken the same old crusty caddie along with him for every round. On this last night together, after playing The Old Course, both player and caddie, along with their wives chattering on~~~all four were contented after yet another dinner together~~~and the American? He was feeling quite content~~~pretty good~~~maybe a little too good. Wine. Scotch. Beer. Triple play. At this point he squinted to look deeply at the old scottish fella's face~~~beaten by the seaside~~~leathered by the sun~~~and thought how much he had helped him play the game~~~even freeing up his swing and so doing helping him hit the ball ever more solidly. Maybe even the best ball striking of his golfing life. Now misty eyed, he tapped his new found friend's shoulder, the scotsman turned, and looked him directly in the eye~~~and then~~the American said: "You know it's been a great week. Wonderful week. Can't believe it! You helped me with my swing and now that I'm hitting the ball better~~My God~~~it feels so good! And you showed me around all these great and time honored courses~~~even the very Home of The Game itself~~~and see? Look! Even our wives are having a good time! It's you and me old buddy! And~~~at this point~~~his emotions continued expanding within this rare moment of empathy, and the American leaned forward and looked deeply into the old guy's eyes~~~and this question came out of his mouth: "How's it been for you?". The old scottish caddie adjusted his frame and leaned further forward~~~cleared his throat~~~then finished off his whiskey. "Aye laddie, don't you realize that golfin' is wee bit like masturbatin"? It may feel good to you~~~but it's not much fun to watch.".

~~~~~~~Golf Reminds Me of My Old Girlfriends~~~~~~~

golf reminds me of my old gf's

one hole at a time

some of them were cruel

and some of them were kind

but after the game was over

and all was said and done

every golf hole

i ever played

like

every gf

i've ever known

let me know

of

ALL

their difficulties

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

LOL

The great course designer A.W. Tillinghast used to say that a golf hole is much like a person. The Teeing area and fairway analogous to a person's body~~~and all that green grass pretty much the same~~~but what distinguishes a hole is it's green~~~much like a person's face~~~and dear old golfin'great Bobby Jones saw golf as a metaphor of life~~~as he called the game of golf~~~life~~~without the blood and guts. I wonder if either of them ever thought of their old gf's~~~while looking at a green~~~or~~~watching where a shot they hit ended up?